Can dads get postpartum depression?

Yes. Between 7% and 9% of new fathers develop postpartum depression, close to 1 in 10, and the risk rises sharply when the other parent is also depressed. In men it often shows up as irritability, anger, withdrawal, working more, or harsh self-doubt rather than only sadness. The baby blues usually ease within the first couple of weeks; symptoms lasting two weeks or more point to depression. Contact a doctor, call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-943-5746, or reach Postpartum Support International at 1-800-944-4773. If there are thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988.

How do I take a night shift if my partner is breastfeeding?

You still run the shift. Do the waking, change the diaper, bring the baby to your partner to nurse, then burp, resettle, and put the baby back down so she goes straight back to sleep. Handling everything except the feeding itself gives her longer unbroken sleep, which supports both her recovery and milk supply. If you are bottle-feeding, take the full feeding so she sleeps through your block entirely.

How much should a bottle-fed newborn eat, and how often do I burp?

A few days after birth, formula-fed newborns usually take about 2 to 3 ounces per feeding every three to four hours. Hold the baby semi-upright and keep the bottle near horizontal so milk flows slowly and the baby sets the pace. Burp after every 2 to 3 ounces (60 to 90 ml). If no burp comes after several minutes, keep feeding; no baby burps every time. Let the baby stop when they lose interest rather than pushing them to finish.

What is the safest way to put my newborn down to sleep?

Place the baby on their back for every nap and every night until age 1. Use a firm, flat surface that does not indent, with no incline over 10 degrees. Keep the space empty: no pillows, blankets, bumpers, or soft toys. Keep the baby's sleep area in your room, but not your bed, for at least the first 6 months, which can cut SIDS risk by as much as half. The AAP does not recommend bed-sharing under any circumstances.

What do I do when my baby won't stop crying?

Work through the 5 S's: swaddle in a thin blanket, hold on the left side, add white noise or a fan, rock or walk, and offer a pacifier if it is not feeding time. If nothing works and you feel overwhelmed, put the baby on their back in the crib, step away for 10 to 15 minutes, and call someone to take over. Never shake a baby; it can cause permanent brain damage and never stops the crying. Call your pediatrician right away if a baby under 2 months has any fever or the crying sounds different from usual.

First 3 months · 0–3 mo

A Dad's Field Guide to the First 3 Months

My partner gave birth. What do I actually do now?

You are a caregiver, not a helper. This is how to do the core newborn tasks, take a real night shift, support your partner's recovery, and recognize when either of you needs help.

9 min read First 3 months Updated June 2026

Reviewed against current AAP and CDC guidance

You are the parent, not the backup

There is no task on this list you cannot do. Compared with a baby left in a bassinet, a newborn placed skin-to-skin on a father's chest in the first two hours after birth cries less, falls asleep sooner, and shows less agitation. If your partner needs medical attention after delivery, yours may be the first chest the baby feels. Bonding has no deadline, so a slow start changes nothing. The work below is learnable in days. Pick a task and own it end to end.

The core tasks, step by step

Diaper change

Lay the baby on their back. Keep one hand on them the whole time.
Open the diaper, wipe front to back, lift by the ankles to clean underneath.
Until the umbilical stump falls off, fold the diaper down below the cord so it stays open to the air, clean, and dry.
To prevent rash, change often, clean gently, and use a fragrance-free zinc-oxide cream. Skip baby powder.

Burping

Bottle-feeding: burp after every 2 to 3 ounces (60 to 90 ml).
Hold the baby upright with their head on your shoulder and gently pat the back. Or sit them on your lap, support the chest and head with one hand, pat with the other.
If no burp comes after several minutes, keep going. No baby burps every time.
Some spit-up is normal and almost never involves choking or danger, even during sleep. The safest sleep position is still flat on the back, not elevated.

Bottle and paced feeding

A few days in, formula-fed newborns take about 2 to 3 ounces per feeding, every three to four hours.
Hold the baby semi-upright, not flat. Keep the bottle close to horizontal so milk flows slowly and the baby controls the pace.
Pause partway through to let them breathe and burp. Watch for cues that they are done.
If they get fidgety or distracted, they are likely finished. If they drain the bottle and keep smacking their lips, they may want more. Let the baby tell you when to stop.

Safe-sleep put-down

Always place the baby on their back, for every nap and every night, until age 1.
Use a firm, flat surface that does not indent under the baby. No incline over 10 degrees.
Clear the space: no pillows, blankets, bumpers, or soft toys. Use a wearable blanket if you are worried about warmth.
Keep the sleep area in your room, not your bed, for at least the first 6 months. Lay them down drowsy. A baby who startles awake when set down is normal.

Bath

Give sponge baths only until the umbilical stump falls off, usually by one or two weeks.
Three baths a week in the first year is enough. More can dry out the skin.
Fill the basin with 2 inches of water that feels warm, not hot, on the inside of your wrist. Set your water heater no higher than 120°F.
Support the head with one hand the entire time. Never leave the baby alone in water, even for an instant. Most in-home child drownings happen in bathtubs.

First-week checklist

Learn one full diaper change and one full feeding without help. Repeat until it is automatic.
Set up the sleep space: firm flat surface, in your room, nothing inside but the baby.
Take one full night shift so your partner gets an unbroken stretch of sleep.
If bottle-feeding, handle a feeding solo. If breastfeeding, bring the baby to your partner and bring her water; lactating parents get very thirsty.
Do skin-to-skin for 20 to 30 minutes a day. Shirt off, baby on your bare chest.
Put the pediatrician's number and three crisis numbers in your phone today.
Take time off if you can. Early involvement is linked to better health and adjustment for the baby.
Watch your partner's mood and your own. Note anything that lasts two weeks or more.

Soothing decoder: the 5 S's

Technique	How to do it	Why it works
Swaddle	Wrap snugly in a large, thin blanket. Ask a nurse to show you once.	Limits the startle reflex and feels secure.
Side or stomach hold	Hold the baby in your arms on their left side. Always put them on the back to sleep.	The position eases digestion and calms fussing while held.
Shush	Use white noise, a fan's hum, or a recorded heartbeat.	Mimics the constant sound inside the womb.
Swing	Walk with the baby in a carrier or rock gently.	Repeats the motion they felt before birth.
Suck	If it is not feeding time, offer a pacifier or help them find a thumb.	Sucking is calming on its own.

Never shake a baby. Call 911 if these appear.

It is never safe to shake, throw, hit, slam, or jerk a baby. Shaking can cause permanent brain damage or death, and it never solves the crying.
If you feel overwhelmed, put the baby down on their back in the crib, close the door, and step away for 10 to 15 minutes. A crying baby in a safe crib is fine. Call someone to take over.
Call 911 for trouble breathing, blue or gray lips or face, choking that does not clear, limpness or no response, or a seizure.

Call the pediatrician now

Any fever in a baby younger than 2 months (rectal temperature of 100.4°F / 38°C or higher). Call right away.
Crying you cannot soothe at all, or crying that sounds different from the usual.
Repeated forceful vomiting, vomit that is green or yellow, or any blood.
Not feeding well, far fewer wet diapers, or no weight gain.
Hard to wake, unusually floppy, or a sunken or bulging soft spot.

Taking real night shifts and supporting recovery

Owning a night shift

Take a defined block, not vague 'help.' Handle every diaper change, feeding if bottle-feeding, and rocking during your hours.
If breastfeeding, you still run the shift: change the baby, bring them to your partner, then resettle and put them down so she goes straight back to sleep.
Even a few extra unbroken hours of sleep help a new parent cope. Split the night so each of you gets one real stretch.

Trading off protects both parents, not just one.

Supporting your partner's recovery

Birth recovery takes weeks. Take over feeding, food, and chores so she can rest and heal.
Protect her sleep on purpose. Sleep loss feeds both physical recovery problems and mood problems.
Be the soother and do hands-on care so bonding is shared, not all on her.

Your involvement is one of the strongest supports for feeding success and her recovery.

Postpartum mood: watch both parents

Paternal depression is real. Between 7% and 9% of new fathers develop postpartum depression, close to 1 in 10. The risk rises sharply when the other parent is depressed, so the two are closely linked.
Baby blues usually ease within the first couple of weeks. Symptoms that last two weeks or more point to depression, not the blues.
In men it often looks like irritability, anger, or aggression, withdrawal, working more to avoid home, harsh self-doubt about parenting, or physical complaints, not only sadness.
Watch your partner too: deep sadness, anxiety or constant fear for the baby, crying, sleep or appetite changes, guilt, or trouble bonding.
If either of you has these signs for two weeks or more, contact a doctor. Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-943-5746 (24/7, for all parents) or Postpartum Support International at 1-800-944-4773. If there are thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988 now.

What good looks like by week three

You can do a diaper change, a feeding, a put-down, and a calm-down without coaching.
You have run at least one full night shift.
Your partner has had unbroken sleep because of you.
Both of your moods are on your radar, and you know the three numbers to call.

Quick answers

Can dads get postpartum depression?: Yes. Between 7% and 9% of new fathers develop postpartum depression, close to 1 in 10, and the risk rises sharply when the other parent is also depressed. In men it often shows up as irritability, anger, withdrawal, working more, or harsh self-doubt rather than only sadness. The baby blues usually ease within the first couple of weeks; symptoms lasting two weeks or more point to depression. Contact a doctor, call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-943-5746, or reach Postpartum Support International at 1-800-944-4773. If there are thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988.
How do I take a night shift if my partner is breastfeeding?: You still run the shift. Do the waking, change the diaper, bring the baby to your partner to nurse, then burp, resettle, and put the baby back down so she goes straight back to sleep. Handling everything except the feeding itself gives her longer unbroken sleep, which supports both her recovery and milk supply. If you are bottle-feeding, take the full feeding so she sleeps through your block entirely.
How much should a bottle-fed newborn eat, and how often do I burp?: A few days after birth, formula-fed newborns usually take about 2 to 3 ounces per feeding every three to four hours. Hold the baby semi-upright and keep the bottle near horizontal so milk flows slowly and the baby sets the pace. Burp after every 2 to 3 ounces (60 to 90 ml). If no burp comes after several minutes, keep feeding; no baby burps every time. Let the baby stop when they lose interest rather than pushing them to finish.
What is the safest way to put my newborn down to sleep?: Place the baby on their back for every nap and every night until age 1. Use a firm, flat surface that does not indent, with no incline over 10 degrees. Keep the space empty: no pillows, blankets, bumpers, or soft toys. Keep the baby's sleep area in your room, but not your bed, for at least the first 6 months, which can cut SIDS risk by as much as half. The AAP does not recommend bed-sharing under any circumstances.
What do I do when my baby won't stop crying?: Work through the 5 S's: swaddle in a thin blanket, hold on the left side, add white noise or a fan, rock or walk, and offer a pacifier if it is not feeding time. If nothing works and you feel overwhelmed, put the baby on their back in the crib, step away for 10 to 15 minutes, and call someone to take over. Never shake a baby; it can cause permanent brain damage and never stops the crying. Call your pediatrician right away if a baby under 2 months has any fever or the crying sounds different from usual.

Sources & further reading

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This guide reflects current AAP and CDC guidance and is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. ParentFlow is a wellness companion — not a substitute for your pediatrician. For any medical concern, contact your healthcare provider.